With a name like Paul McCarney I have grown up introducing myself then I immediately follow it with, "yes, but no tee". And while I didn't have his voice, fame, money or 't', I have carved my own path, finally starting understanding who I am and why.
​
It's strange, but we can often spend periods of our life defining ourselves as what we are not. This happens quite a lot when we are young, coming out from under our parent's loving protection.
​
"I'm not going to have an office 9 to 5 job like my dad"
"I'm not going to be just a housewife, like my mum"
"After I leave school, I'm never want to study again"
I've learnt understanding who I am is not about whom I'm not, and suddenly stumbling upon a purpose is not realistic, its about establishing things that I value and proactively doing stuff that fits with those values, with people that I value.
​
The more I've done that, the faster I've found a purpose.
But, it's not always been that way.
Over the years circumstances have changed, my values have broken, things I used to like doing, I no longer receive the same enjoyment.
​
That’s all ok. Change is good.
One of the things I notice with some people as they get older is that they don’t change their actions even though their circumstances and their values have clearly changed. And as a result, they are in conflict with others and themselves(1). They get resentful, grumpy or angry.
​
One way I've learnt to manage this change is to create directional points of view that I can iterate on my perspective inside the guard-rails it establishes.
​
This blog is an attempt to start to publish those views and use them as a nucleus for essays in my quest to learn the craft of writing.
​
​
====================
​
(1) I guess this is likely for two reasons;
1. That they really have a life purpose and with changed circumstances, they are not willing to change their activities. We see this when parents have a disabled child and the father keeps working as hard as he used to….this often ends in divorce
2. They keep performing actions that are in conflict with their new values derived from new circumstances… They stay in a stressful, long-hours job when they are needed by the young kids at home. This is sustainable for a while, but it needs to be a conscious decision with a joint view on the future.
​
​